31.5.06

Condition: Pink 

Things have started to feel surreally intense. Is it the music? The strawberries? The tea? The anger I've suppressed today?

Would I be cheating if I ate one?

Vomit, Puke, Barf. Throw Up, Regurgitate. Etc. 

Oh, yeah. Yesterday, Croatia moved one more step closer to the Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Telekom concept. I can't even live in an illusion that I'm not supporting T-com's monopoly any more...

No, I definitely shouldn't pay attention to the news.

The Bird of Feathers 

Some animals seem to get more serious and dignified with age. Some, on the other hand... Seem to get sillier and sillier as the years go by.

30.5.06

The Change of Colour 

The black will lighten into the darkest gray. At least at the edges, the middle will stay black. The typeface will be changed, I think. Some degree of uniformity should be there, too. Etc.

Do I need a mind-map for this?

29.5.06

The Illusion of an Everlasting Weekend 

Weekends come, and weekends go. So do the ideas. Something will sometimes stay in their wake. Sometimes there is nothing.

I need sleep. I need dreams. Are those mutually exclusive?

I need a holiday.

28.5.06

The Curse of Sundays 

When asked about the importance of the black pearls, a wise man said: leaves and skeletons don't mix, for while one are lost in the clouds, the other don't become mushy when burned. And thus was the candle was slaughtered, and we feasted.

27.5.06

A Nail for the Maker 

I almost went out today. I actually stood at the window, looked outside, and considered going out.

I think another alcohol-induced state of oblivion is in order.

26.5.06

Oh, So Quiet 

Still tempted to do a Vibi...

I think I vented myself today... Somewhat. More would be nice, but there's that.

I should eat the strawberries, but I don't feel like eating strawberries. And I'm definitely not in love this time.

I also think I ended the wise man series too soon.

25.5.06

Originally Unintended 

I was about to do aVibi. Pulled myself together in time, thank carrot. Immensely satisfying as it might have been, I called the guy an idiot (which he is) for doing it. But, oh, the temptation...

On another note... I've finished reading David Weber's eleventh Honor Harrington book, At All Costs. I... Am not quite sure what to say about it. To write 11+ books featuring the same characters in the same universe, and still be able to keep the plot interesting is no mean achievement. I mean, look what happened to Robert Jordan - he barely managed five. But I have a feeling he can't keep up with the character development any more, he seems to be repeating the same descriptions, the same dialogues, again and again. Maybe because those are, after all, those same characters he's writing, but it's starting to feel stale. Even his excellent space combat model is becoming old and dry. Maybe because it has grown in scale enormously. Or maybe because the precise counts of ammunition fired and detailed descriptions of the resulting damage just aren't worth reading unless one wants to make diagrams out of them. I'm starting to hope he'll wrap it up in the next book, because the end of this one definitely has 'sequel coming' written all over it.

Now I'm wondering if it would be better to read the first three Song of Fire and Ice books before starting with the Feast for Crows...

24.5.06

Departments, Committees 

I knew that people still visit the Reality Check Committee's site, mostly because it's easy to find of you do some kind of a search on the comparative longevity of vegetarians and meat-eaters. But those just come and pass, probably not finding what they hoped for. What surprised me were the comments by a real person it got today. Then I discovered two more, though unsigned. Wow.

I definitely can't move that site now. Too many comments. :)

23.5.06

Brown 

This day feels exceedingly heavy. Brown. How does one explain colour to a blind person?

Do I really need an RSS reader?

22.5.06

Content 

Content. Everything is content these days.
Content. Like we are empty vessels just waiting to be filled with whatever someone wants.
Content this, content that. I find the word has started to feel extremely grating.

Though, in all honesty, even though technology has provided so many more ways for the empty sheep most of the people are to be lead wherever the wolves want, it has also given ways to those who don't just want to be lead to express themselves.

By, again, creating content.

21.5.06

Incompatibility 

Firefox doesn't like Yahoo mail. Or is it the other way around?

Of Hopes and Forgetfulness 

The division of projects is at the core. Cascades relate tea and eyes. When?

20.5.06

Beer! Beer! 

Why alcohol? Because the feeling it brings is glorious. The confidence... The carelessness... The dreams.

How could I not want it, not desire it?

19.5.06

Monopoly or Not 

So the largest Croatian ISP, which is, incidentally, owned by the Ein-Volk-ein-Reich-ein-Telecom DT, has announced the intention to buy the second largest Croatian ISP. And the relevant Croatian regulatory authorities aren't sure if that's a threat to the liberalisation of our telecom market. Some of them even think it isn't.

18.5.06

Nightmare Reloaded 

I was a broken wreck. I wanted to end my life, but they wouldn't let me. And all the time, I was in control of the dream. I suppose I was torturing myself.

I don't remember the details. I'm glad I don't.

17.5.06

It's Nuclear 

I'm not happy with the long-term effects of using nuclear power. But when a group of 'green' activists decides to throw paper airplanes at a ship with 5k+ foreign tourists as a sign of protest just because it's nuclear-powered, I can't but wish that stupidity was a valid reason to shoot people.

16.5.06

Orange 

I'll take the buying of a microwave owen to be a good sign. In this time of returning ifs, I need good signs.

15.5.06

Refuse, Resist 

I can't call it laziness, as I would normally. It's a resistance. One born out of fear. I am clinging to my afternoons of tea and movies/games that I'm afraid to 'waste time' on anything else.

Why am I so afraid?

14.5.06

Dishes Washed 

The weather is slightly gray, I have problems with mineral orders, my hosting's cPanel has decided to stop working, I have a shrink appointment tomorrow and the music on the radio sucks. But I've enjoyed the lunch and washed the dishes, there's a bird sleeping on my shoulder and a pot of tea by my bed. A shame it's a Sunday...

13.5.06

Kitchen Sink 

Motivation comes from action. I keep telling myself that. But does it really work with dish-washing?

12.5.06

Behind the Corner 

It's there, just as it always was. I can chemically ignore it, but I can't make it go away, and if I look, I can see it staring back at me. That desire, that certainty. The Silent One.

11.5.06

A Historical Moment 

Also in the news... I actually paid for software that didn't come with any hardware today. I'm becoming civilised, it seems.

Waste... 

...of time.
...of energy.
...of money.
...of space.

10.5.06

The Half-Dead Internet 

There are spammers in this world. There are few things more hateful than spammers. One of those things are people who buy the goods and services the spammers advertise.

9.5.06

I Should Start Forging the Posting Times 

CSS... Whatever I think I know, I should forget. I know nothing. NFS.

I'm still intrigued by WordPress. But I don't know anything about PHP... And I don't really feel like learning.

I think I've just ruined myself another day... Ahhh, bless Prozac.

8.5.06

Or Not 

I'm not stupid. I might even say, I'm far from it. But I'm lazy. Sometimes it amazes even me how lazy I am.

The thing is, I have nothing to do right now. I've done all the work I had to do today, and I've decided (yesterday) that I'd use the time to install and customize WordPress for use with the Tea with Milk project that I've been thinking about for a while (has it really been two years?) now. Easily said, from what I've seen and heard, easily done. But then I come to changing a few lines of code. And what happens? Everything grinds to halt. Because I don't feel like doing it.

Although, perhaps I'm not being completely fair. The main problem I seem to be having here is a creative one. I'm supposed to come up with the site design and execute it in code. And I have no ideas at all.

I think I've just ruined my day.

7.5.06

Encouraging? 

I think I'm looking forward to tomorrow, Monday as it is.

6.5.06

America, America 

Dick "Shotgun" Cheney visited Croatia today. He didn't shoot anyone, although the abased Croatian PM and his ministers gave a good impression of being dead. Pathetic.

I think I should be using those syndication/feed thingies that are so popular now... I'm just not sure why.

5.5.06

Blown Ewey 

I'm thinking projects... Operations... Things to do... Things to busy myself with... Again.

Also in the news, a man blew himself up at the marketplace. Maybe I'll pass that way on the way home.

4.5.06

Bananas 

No good as a dinner, they are. Kitchen-bound.

3.5.06

Spiders 

Abd I have a spanking new, fresh-out-of-a-cocoon daddy-long-legs on my wall! The spring is here!

More Bore 

Why do we resort to repetitive activities when we have nothing to do?

1.5.06

Birthday! 

Two years! Weee!