31.7.04

Mosquitoes 

Is there a better job in the world than being a flying parasite?

... Turned ??? 

Curse my curiosity. I couldn't help myself. Went to see what that entire site was about.

Tragically l337, it says. If the very mention of any sort of l337-sp33k freaks you out, as is the case with me, run for the hills now. People who use non-words really should be hanged by their necks until they're dead, burned, and their ashes scattered. There is none of it on the site, but the entire thing seems intended for the people (should I say, brainless kids?) who use it regularly. The list of the coming birthdays on the forum confirmed that.

The guy draws well. No doubt about that. Nothing spectacular, nothing new, but nice. But the comic... It is so non-funny, non-witty, non-nothing, that I find it hard to believe. It's even worse than Garfield is most of the time. And that is really something. At least, Garfield has a bright moment or two every once in a while... Have I mentioned brains and cell phone radiation already? Well it seems it needs to be mentioned again.

... 

This was pointed to me as something funny a short time ago. I wish someone would please explain what's so funny about it...

Alas, I went to check the one from a week ago. My dear carrot... Is it the fact that my brain isn't being destroyed by cell phone radiation since I was 10?

The Best Wishes! 

And a happy birthday to you, too, Daddy. May you rot in hell.

30.7.04

Smells Like the Universal Song for Dead Blondes 

Oh, little birthday candle, burning so bright, why is your life so short?
(There is no wind, BTW...)

Happy birthday to you, too, Arnold!

29.7.04

Text Games, the Last Part 

Bye, WoT MUD! I'm sure it'd be quite enjoyable if I could get past the mindless wondering around and killing small animals, but it doesn't seem worth the effort.

Text Games, Part 2 

Well. Aside from the fact that a usable (and free) telnet client for PPC doesn't exist... I tried. I really tried. I'm not a kid who thinks fancy graphics and surround sound are necessities of a good game, text is enough for me. But this... A structured list of all the commands, people, is that really too much to ask for? And maps! How can anyone find a way around?

The Morning After... 

The haircut is still bad... But I've found something to do with it. Now it looks decent.

28.7.04

...And Bad Haircuts. 

One advantage the male barbers have over the female ones is the fact that they can't get pregnant. Like my usual barber(ette?) did. So I went to the lady she chose to run the business while she's gone, and in my opinion, she made a bad choice. I cut hair better than that girl. (Not that I'm bad, I had lots of practice and returning customers while I was in college, but I'm not a pro (and she is), and I never charged for my cuts (and she does).) So I think I'll go look for a new barber the next time... I've had a feeling it's the time for change for a while now, and I've been given a perfect excuse. At least, until my regular barber(ette?) gets back.

Text Games 

Related to the epic fantasy post... I've been looking for info on the Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time books. I found this: a WoT MUD. And since I needed a low bandwidth game I could play when my bandwidth is taken, I tried playing. Well, I got reminded why I never liked text-based adventure games. It's all well and nice, and I appreciate the realism of actually being lost in the middle of nowhere without a useful map, but a list of all the commands (and there are way too many) on a web page somewhere would've been nice... Because this in-game help system where you have to type 'help everysinglecarrotforsakenwordfromthelist', and then have everything, including the list, scroll out of sight because an NPC sneezed (or because PCs decided to have a long conversation which is totally unrelated to you), simply doesn't work. I'm not giving up yet, though...

And greetings to the Latvian person who's been visiting!

27.7.04

The Tuesday Sermon 

And God? I can't even cry to God, because I don't believe in a god one can cry to. I've decided I don't want God in my life. And here comes an interesting twist. I don't believe in our Lord the God whose Son Jesus died so that we could all live forever, so I'm going to tell Him that, in His face, instead of paying him lip service like so many hypocrites do. No, I'm going to be true, so I'll tell him, without mincing words, this God in whose existence I don't believe, that I don't believe in Him. Because there's no point in lying to Him, He knows everything anyway.

Does anyone else see holes in this piece of reasoning, or is it just me?

26.7.04

Name the Song 

I set sails for the ageless winds...
No fear of dying or a thought of surrender...

Epic Fantasy 

Epic fantasy series' writers should all be shot. Preferably, before they start writing their epic fantasy series'.

25.7.04

Damn... 

And I mean, damn...

24.7.04

But not again... 

Oh, no. Not again. The focus must be maintained.

So... 

...this is what it looks like. I forgot... It was such a long time ago, the last time... Too late now. As they say, the board is set, the pieces are moving. Such a shame... Such a waste...

23.7.04

Names 

I understand the Portugese are legally limited to having no more than 15 parts in their names. I dread to think what was the cause for that particular law...

22.7.04

Locksmiths 

Once upon a time, a locksmith was supposed to be able to make a precision mechanical device, a lock. Today, a locksmith is supposed to be able to use a fool-proof machine for copying keys.

Search Engines... 

Why does a Google images search for 'slaughter' produce so many portraits of smiling people?

21.7.04

Toys and Violence 

There are very few things that freak me out like violence towards toys (by adults, not children). I really don't understand it. Toys are made to make people happy. If you break them, take them apart, destroy them, throw them out with trash, they can't make anyone happy. They become ruined, dirty, sad objects nobody wants. How can make anyone happy in such condition? It negates the very purpose of their existance. And why would anyone want to do such a thing to something as innocent as a toy?

Name the Song 

I sit beside the fire and think...
Of people long ago...
Of people long ago...
And people who will see a world
that I shall never know...

20.7.04

Freaky... 

The former Plant #2 has completely died yesterday. I have never seen a plant die so thoroughly in such a short time. I am now freaked out...

19.7.04

Eating Insects, Part 2 

It has passed. I munched a little Diptera who decided to fly around my head while I was reading.
I so wish I had frog's tongue...

Eating Insects 

Two days ago, I ate a really horribly tasting ant. She tasted like sour fat. That's probably because, as a newly fertilised female ant full of eggs (genocide, anyone?), she was sour fat.
Now, every time I try to eat an insect, I think of that awful taste, and decide not to. I hope it passes soon, because I've been killing some really nice mosquitoes lately...

18.7.04

One-Zero-One 

This it the Number 101 Post. At least, I think so. The Blogger counter is a bit ambiguous on that. Anyway... Let us call this the 101st post, and celebrate. Drink, and be merry!

How? 

Metal, heat, or salt?

Why? 

Where did they go? Why did they leave me? When will my thoughts come back?

17.7.04

 

Sometimes I really feel like a piece of furniture...

A Change of Plants 

The Plant #2 has gone to the place of (hopeful) healing. The Plant #3 becomes the Plant #2.


16.7.04

Past Times 

When one wishes to have lived in some past time, one usually doesn't consider the possibility of being born to a non-privileged class. This person being no exception. Which is understandable.

There are three periods and places I wish to have lived in:

1. 5th century BC, Greece. The golden age of the Greek polis, and time when bullshit artistry was appreciated. They knew nothing, and had an opinion on everything. So, providing my family was wealthy enough, I would've been a philosopher. Or some sort of oracle/prophet type, since I like dreaming in heavy fumes and can lie with a straight face.

2. ~9th century, Scandinavia. Although I'm not really into physical stuff, I'm a big and healthy lad, and I think I could easily develop a taste for splitting people in half with my very large sword. So I think I could've gotten used to being a barbarian-style warrior. Or a blacksmith, if I wanted a more learned occupation. By now, providing I managed to survive, I would've been a venerable elder with many grandchildren and few teeth.

3. Renaissance, Europe (anywhere, really). Another period when a man could make a name by knowing a little bit about everything and not much about anything. Again, some starting wealth would've been necessary. The down side is, the Church would probably recommend I be treated gently and with no spilling of blood at some point.

15.7.04

Forgotten Dreams 

I had a dream last night. The only thing I remember about it is the need to forget it entirely. It was not an unpleasant dream, but there was something in it that needed forgetting.

Nu Metal... 

How? Why? What are all these Linkin Park songs get on my computer? What was I thinking?

14.7.04

Where Did They Go? 

Where are my dreams? They were here, and now they're gone. I really wish they would come back...

13.7.04

Meh. 

I have games. They're good and interesting games. But I'm not really into playing... I'm growing old.

11.7.04

Simon says: Hijack a plane! 

A Nylon-glass knife. Is it actually sharp?


P.S. I think this thingie with the plants is getting a bit ridiculous. I'll have to change it...

A Non-Historical Dream 

The Light of Axim sets me free, and I dream...
I'm a spellsword, young and inexperienced. I'm with a group refugees. There's an old mage and a group of warriors among us, but most of us are simple villagers. We're running from a wizard through the woody hills of Central Croatia. We move through the forests and the days pass uneventfully. One day, we come out of the woods and into a valley. There's a temple with a large dome in the valley. We enter the temple; it's deserted. We assemble in the great chamber under the dome. Our mage tries to cast a spell which would bring us to safety. I try to help him, but we fail; something is blocking us. Unsuccessful, we leave the temple and continue on foot. As we start climbing a hill, a column of mounted soldiers appears on the ridge above us. There aren't many soldiers, but there are several large groups of serfs with them. It seems to me that the serfs are being lead somewhere against their will. We watch the column pass, hoping we won't be noticed. From the banners I can see that the soldiers are from the town of Karlovac. The column is almost past, but then the leader of the last group of soldiers notices us. He points towards us, and they charge down the hill. I draw my blade; it's a 1796 light cavalry sabre, a wicked weapon the British used in the Napoleonic wars. I hold the blade in my right hand and the scabbard in my left. I'm scared. A horseman charges at me, a dagger in his hand. He throws the dagger at me, but I deflect it with a spell, and he rides past me, towards our other warriors. Another horseman charges, throwing his dagger at me, but I catch it with my scabbard. The third horseman throws his dagger, but I manage to deflect it with the sabre. The fourth rider has a bow, and looses an arrow at me. I try to deflect it, too, but I fail, and the arrow grazes my shoulder. It is just a scratch, but now I'm really frightened. As the fourth rider passes me, I swing my sabre and wound him terribly. He gallops off, dying. I've never killed a man before this, and I feel sick. Then the fifth rider attacks me. He's an old nobleman in splendid clothes, and there's a young blonde lady riding in the saddle behind him, holding him around his waist. He approaches, and tries to stab me with a long hook, which, for some reason, reminds me of the Chinese halberd, although it looks nothing like one. I catch his arm, and start chopping at it with my sabre. He shouts at me, offering me a reward if I let go of his arm, but I keep chopping. His arm is almost cut off, and he panics, and starts offering me a reward if I don't cut it off completely. But I don't trust him, and I cut off his arm. He screams, and I take the hook from his chopped off hand, and kill him with it. His lady just looks at me, shrugs, tips him off the horse, and rides off into the valley. As the remaining horseman fight our warriors, I look around. The rest of the column is gone from sight, and we're winning - soon we'll be safe. Then the ridiculousness of the situation strikes me. The soldiers attacking us have nothing to do with the wizard we're running from. My sabre is a weapon of a horseman, not a footman, and is completely out of time. Karlovac, the town our attackers came from, won't be founded for another 400 years or so. Why did the riders who attacked me use daggers, and not lances? Why did it take me so long to chop off the old nobleman's arm (the 1796 sabre can do in in one blow), and why did he offer me a reward not to cut it completely, once I was almost done? And what was his young lady doing there in the first place?
The dream ends...

10.7.04

 

More dreams! More dreams!

9.7.04

 

More plants! More plants!

8.7.04

Invasion 

I was invaded by a giant mosquito:



She even brought her husband with her:



It would seem that her plan was to feed (on me), mate (with the husband), and then lay approximately 200 eggs into my swamp aquarium.
As it can be seen, their plan failed. They were both intercepted, terminated, and eaten (pictures available on request).

CAPS! 

People using caps in their communication on the internet all the time... Scary.

7.7.04

Counterproductive Advertising? 

People should really watch for fingerprints when they're taking promo pictures of shiny objects... It really looks lame when you can see somebody's greasy print on chrome surface. Use gloves if you don't know how to use image editing software, for the carrot's sake!

6.7.04

The Truth of Dreams 

The Light of Axim sets me free...
Dreams. Dreams bring insight. Dreams tell us of our past. Of our present. Of our desires and fears. Dreams tell us of our future.
I dream. I'm in Zagreb. It doesn't look like the Zagreb I know, but I'm certain it is Zagreb. I am sure of where I am. I am in a wheelchair. I have forever been in a wheelchair. But I can walk. All I need to do is get up. I know I can walk, but I don't get up. I don't mind being in a wheelchair. Everyone knows I don't need it, I can see that knowledge in the eyes of the invalids I pass in the streets. I also know most of them don't need their wheelchairs, just like me. I cross some railway tracks. There are trains coming from both sides, but I can cross quickly, even though the road is paved with granite cubes (some of which are missing) and bumpy. I start towards the nearby station. It is a small station, with a single platform (where did all the tracks I crossed go?), completely out of place in a big city like Zagreb, but I don't find it unusual. There's mud on my way. It is yellow and sticky, and there is no way around it. I have to go through it to get to the station. The mud sticks to the wheels of my chair. It splatters my face and my clothes. I desperately want to get to the station with clean clothes and face, but I don't know how. I'm frustrated. I'm getting stuck in the mud.
The dream ends. I don't know if I've managed to reach the station. That knowledge lies outside the dream. But with the benefit of hindsight, I can see the solution: all I had to do was get up on my own two feet. I knew I could walk. I remember seeing patches of firm ground I could've used to get across. But the thought of leaving the wheelchair and walking never occurred to me.
They say, life is only a dream from which we must awake.

 

I shall stare into nothing until it gets uncomfortable and turns into something!

5.7.04

There is blood in my pen... 

...and it's fake. But it looks just like real, and here's the recipe:

1/4 Pelikan Black
3/4 Pelikan Red

Rather simple, but effective.
From this, you can make bloody vomit coloured ink by turning this into:

1/6 Pelikan Black
3/6 Pelikan Red
2/6 Pelikan Blue-black

Adding more blue-black will produce pure vomit coloured ink.

4.7.04

Bonsai Kitten 

The Bonsai Kitten, a website which has been ruffling the feathers of animal rights idiots (I could put so many references here...) since its debut in 2000, thus earning a rightful place in the Museum of Hoaxes and a mention on the Sophos hoaxes pages, seems to be no more. A shame. It was so much fun watching the bunny-hugging morons rage and fume over it. What better proof that they have too much time and absolutely no clue does one need?

Fortunately, if you wish to visit this wonderful site, there are mirrors you can go to...

Why? 

Why am I online on a Saturday night, and why are my thoughts dwelling on SETI@home at 3 AM? A good question.

SETI@home 

My CPU(s) seem(s) to have spent over 1000 hours looking for aliens. (It would've been more, but I managed to lose my old account info. And I can't discover which e-mail address I used for it. I had over 200 units completed on that one... What a shame.) And it seems to have found none.

3.7.04

And the Truth is... 

The emperor is even more naked than I thought possible.

Or maybe the Truth will set you free? 

Thus was the lie exposed, thus was it brought into the light. And the people cried, 'Behold, there is the lie for all to see!'

2.7.04

I shall not comment on... 

...this.

I shall only shudder.

1.7.04

Size Matters 

I look into the sky, and I see...
A few years back, I read, and I think it was in the National Geographic's millenium series article on population, that the ideal number of humans on this planet would be around two billion. Tops. But how do you explain that to a low-R species which has discovered what it's like when all the children survive?