Suicide Is Painless 

Fifteen-second hand-held exposures never turn out good, even when one's hands aren't shaking from the cold... But let's call this shot artistic, shall we?

I wish I can say I've reached a conclusion, other than that I'll need the pills and the car if I intend to kill myself in this weather, but I can't.

One thing is obvious. I have nothing to lose by trying. If I don't do it, I'm dead. If I do it and fail, I'm dead. So, trying is the only other option. It is not the purest of motives, but there it is. And a part of me wants it, wants it so badly. It's quite a shame I can't reach unity with myself on this, but that's the way it is.

The question is, is it the failure I fear? Or is it the possibility of success... I think I need a bit more time. But do I have it?